Exploring the Relationship Nook

Seduction doesn't always mean a strip tease! Undressing is, of course, a perfectly titillating precursor to bedroom fun and games, but if it's your only move, a change might do your relationship some good. Just like your leg might "fall asleep" if you sit in one position for too long, so too, your love life might take a snooze if you persist in playing through your routine the same way every time. Dressing up for the bedroom engages the imagination, the senses and takes intimacy outside of its routine into the stimulating realm of fantasy!

Why Dress-Up Play Never Goes Out of Style

Even for those of us who don't normally include lingerie dress-up in our bedroom repertoire, images of the French Maid or the Naughty School Girl come readily to mind when thinking of sexy costumes. There is a short list of lingerie fantasy costumes which never seem to fall from fashion such as the harem girl, the beer wench, the geisha, the sailor girl, the cheerleader, sports themed outfits, the pirate, the bank robber, and the lady in military uniform.

Why do certain costumes consistently appeal to the sexual imagination? It may be that as children we played at superheroes, ballerinas, princesses or cat burglars and those memories are easily associated with a carefree time when our imaginations were permitted to run free. Somehow, a return to the innocence and adventure of childhood games can liberate our sexual lives as adults through the power of imagination.

Also consider the long term effects of media advertising on our private lives and tastes. American pin-up art pervades our collective cultural sexual imagination. One curvy illustration in a bunny suit even, reportedly, inspired the moniker for a publishing and retail empire that shall remain nameless.

From the picture of innocence in which a girl who's skirt has been unexpectedly hiked up and who is mortified in the cutest way you can think of to the knowing siren in the large hat and nothing besides, pin-up art has instigated a catalog of sexy costume mainstays which remain as popular today as they were sixty, seventy and eighty years ago. There can be little doubt that this art has helped to inspire designers and individuals alike, streamlining our cultural ideal of feminine allure and sexual role play over the years.

Before the Foreplay

It's easy to assume that everyone finds all of the same kinds of things sexy or appealing. Persons who share in a cultural background are inclined to be somewhat similarly aligned when it comes to taste. Nevertheless, it's important to remember that an individual's sexual appetites are as unique as their fingerprints.

You may be more keenly aware of your partner's uniqueness during the getting-to-know-you phase of the relationship than after you've been together for a while. It doesn't matter how long you've been together or how well you believe you know them - don't ever assume that you shouldn't ask for your partner's input! All good sex involves communication either before or during intimacy.

Playfully introducing new ideas by way of conversation serves to help you create an ideal experience as well as building positive excitement as you work toward the fantasy event. Also, don't forget that fantasy costumes need not be a one-sided proposition! Matching couples costume sets can double your fun!

Fun With Indoor/Outdoor Appropriate Costumes

Has anyone else noticed that Halloween is getting racier and racier every year? It used to be that October 31st was the one night of the year when spirits roamed free and we, the living, were compelled to disguise ourselves in order to walk among them in relative safely. Lately, All Hallows Eve marks the date for taking our sexiest costumes out on parade without any real risk of social disapproval.

Mardi Gras, St. Patrick's Day and Carnivale is a great time for dress up fun too. Anytime there's a parade, celebration, loud music, public drinking, or a bonfire on a beach it's a great moment to don a scanty, festivity (in)appropriate costume! So much for tradition, but how great for those who enjoy lingerie costumes!

When the next Socially Acceptable Opposite Day roles around on your local calendar it might just be the perfect time to introduce some lingerie costume play into your relationship. Wearing something you normally wouldn't wear out to a place you normally wouldn't wear it while holding securely onto the arm of the one you love might get you both thinking all the wrong, or as the case may be, right things!

BD/SM -- Just a Taste Does Not a Lifestyle Choice Make!

Any discussion of adult fantasy costumes must include a nod to bd/sm role-play. Leather and vinyl bondage lingerie and accessories are not for everyone though. However, you don't have to live on a rack or have a dungeon in your basement in order to appreciate an edgy look and feel to your bedroom dress-up sensibility! Trying on a dominant and submissive role play game doesn't need to be violent or painful.

Believe it or not, the most common sexual dynamic involves a tiny bit of dominance and submission. Strong women who are concerned with receiving equal treatment and consideration in public life often have a secret sex kitten lurking inside. No one else needs to know that following the commands of their lover demurely and only behind closed doors is exciting to them.

Alternately, there are some men who project dominance in their public lives but who secretly appreciate a lady who likes to take charge in the bedroom. It is key to remember that when trust is involved in a sexual relationship what happens in the bedroom is merely reflective of the dynamic you share with one other individual and not with anyone else or with some blanket social construct.

Exploring some natural dominance and submissive fantasies with leather and vinyl costumes or accessories can be a fun and intimacy generating activity for the committed couple. Paddles, blindfolds, masks, collars, and handcuffs are great starter props which offer up a level of comfort and accessibility with a light flavor of danger. Costumes can be easily negotiated as well. Pick something flattering for your body type and then simply upgrade to a leather or vinyl version of the teddy, thong, g-string or bra and panty set that caught your imagination. Keep it light and change it up with a little dark costume fun!

Your Costume Doesn't Include Stress!

If you're thinking about trying a lingerie fantasy costume for the first time or with a new partner remember that the primary ingredient to that batch of ecstasy you're looking to whip up is relaxation! This means that all parties must be relaxed about the intimacy, the costume, the setting and the scenario.

If anything goes amiss, as things are inclined to do from time to time, be prepared to laugh. Laughter is relaxing, bonding and easy while stressing out at the wrong time, getting the jitters, becoming annoyed or angry or frustrated are, frankly, not sexy. Negativity is not a terribly useful perspective to begin with and it has absolutely no place in your boudoir!

Your Fantasy is Your Own Journey

Creating a sexual fantasy experience with and for your partner is a wonderful way to demonstrate your affection and make some great memories! Just a little bit of inspired imagination can yield a relatively inexpensive date which feels as exciting and fun as a romantic vacation but without the travel and cost.

Think of as many details as you can while you plan your costume fantasy adventure. What should the environment look, feel, and smell like? What props might add to your look or to the atmosphere in general? Will you use music or perhaps some natural sounds to help set the mood? Will you dance for your partner? Will you hand feed them some seductive appetizers like fruits, chocolate or cheeses? Wine, champagne or even a tasty beer might help to relax you both.

Massages are also a great way to ease into things. Communicate with your partner when planning your costume fantasy adventure and allow for intimacy to unfold in its own way and time. Relax and enjoy your adventure together! Make some great memories and remember that each journey you take together is uniquely yours as a couple.

About the Author:

In addition to her freelance projects, Wynter Stark is a copy writer for Touch of That Lingerie. A student of both fashion and life, her approach to both is all about the journey.

Article Marketing

6 people like this article